Tess Payne

1994, 05:00 minutes, colour, English


"Last night I dreamt I was visiting Victoria, B.C.. My friend Sydney was happily showing me the houses on her street. She wore a skirt of tiny blue flowers that stopped at her ankles. I noticed that her feet were bare. I confessed to her that I had mistakenly made a tape about her committing suicide and that I was so relieved it wasn't true!
In that transitional moment between sleeping and waking I realized it was not a mistake. I lie there. My friend did commit suicide. Society still shrouds suicide in shame. This personal video letter and ritual was performed to reject this tendency and to assuage my grief. It is a poetic narrative that describes personal but also common universal feelings of guilt, grief, and acceptance.

"Belated is in memory of my fellow artist and dear friend Sydney Condrashoff-Simeoni (1956-1994)." -Tess Payne 1995

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