
After a long period in life identifying as a Butch Lesbian, Cuthand considers transitioning to male. This experience involved a six month period of her life during which she went by the name Sarain, which she would have been called had she been born a boy, and asking to be called by male pronouns. Complicated by mental health crises, Cuthand found themselves in a mental health group home for women, having to hide their gender dysphoria. After a considerable amount of thought and discussion, Cuthand changed her mind and decided to remain a Butch Lesbian. Explaining her decision, she touches on the desire to maintain a connection to the Lesbian community, as well as the sexy genderfucking that happens when one is a masculine woman. Shot partially on location in Hamburg, Germany, riding back and forth on the UBahn is a metaphor for her eventual acceptance of fluctuating between a masculine and a feminine gender. In a nod to her two spirited ancestors, she mentions that she would have been able to make up her own gender had colonization not happened.
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